THE SIXTH DAY.
The moon had now lost her brightness in the midst of the heavens, and the world became illumined by the appearance of the new day, when the queen arose with all her company, and they walked forth upon the dewy grass, to some distance from that little eminence, holding various arguments by the way concerning their late novels, and making themselves merry with reciting some of the most entertaining over again: till at last, the heat growing excessive, as the sun was mounted to a greater height, they turned back, and came to the palace, where, the tables being set forth against their return, and every part of the house bedecked with sweet smelling flowers, they sat down to dinner. When that was over, and after they had sung a few songs, some went to sleep, and others played at chess; whilst Dioneo and Lauretta sang the song of Troilus and Cressida. At the usual hour they met, by the fountain's side, and the queen was about to call for the first novel, when she was interrupted by an occurrence such as never had happened before, namely, a great noise and tumult among the servants in the kitchen. The queen sent for the master of the household to know what it was all about, but he could not tell; all he knew was that there was a dispute between Licisca and Tindaro. The queen then ordered the pair to be brought before her, and when they were come into her presence she demanded the reason of their discord. Tindaro began to make answer, - when Licisca, whose blood was up, turning upon him in high disdain, exclaimed, "How dare this beast of a man presume to open his mouth before me! Let me speak." Then turning to the queen she proceeded:
"This fellow, my lady, would tell me, forsooth, all about Sicofante 's wife, for all the world as if I did not know her of old; and he would have me believe that there was violence and bloodshed the first night Sicofante went to bed to her; but I say there was no such thing, but all passed very smoothly and comfortably. This jackass actually believes that young girls are such fools as to lose their time, waiting, shilly shally, three or four years, till their fathers or brothers think fit to get them a husband. Ecod, a fine time they'd have of it waiting so long! By the faith of a Christian! and I ought to know what I am saying when I swear that oath, among all my gossips there is not one that went a maid to her husband: aye and the married women too, I know what tricks they play on their husbands: and yet this great mutton-headed oaf would have me learn from him what are the ways of women, as if I was born yesterday."
Whilst Licisca talked thus, the ladies laughed at such a rate you might have drawn all their teeth. The queen commanded her six times at least to hold her tongue, but it was of no avail. As soon as she had let out all she chose to say, the queen turned to Dioneo, and said with a smile, "This question belongs to your province; therefore, when our novels are ended, you shall give your verdict upon it." "Madam," he replied at once, "the verdict is given without hearing more; I say that Licisca is right, and I agree with her in opinion that Tindaro is an ass."
When Licisca heard this she burst out laughing, and turning to Tindaro: "I told thee so," she said; "God help thee, with thy eyes hardly open yet, to think thou knowest more than I do. Gramercy! I have not lived for nothing, not I." And if the queen had not peremptorily cut her short, and ordered her and Tindaro to begone, nobody else would have had a chance of speaking that day. When the disputants were gone, the queen called on Filomena to begin the day's novels, which she did as follows:
NOVEL I.
A certain knight offers a lady to carry her behind him, and to tell her a pleasant story by the way; but, doing it with an ill grace, she chose rather to walk on foot.
Ladies, as stars are the ornaments of heaven, flowers of the spring, and as the hills are most beautiful when planted with trees, so a smart and elegant turn of expression is the embellishment of discourse; and the shorter the better, especially in women. But true it is, whether it be owing to our unhappy dispositions, or some particular enmity which the stars bear to our sex, there is hardly any among us that knows how to say a good thing pat to the occasion, or to understand it when said, which is a great disgrace to us all.
But as Pampinea has before enlarged on this point, I shall say nothing farther, but only show, by the neat manner in which a lady silenced a knight, the great beauty of a word or two spoken in due time and place.
You may all of you have heard, that there lived in our city, not a great while ago, a lady of much worth and wit, whose good qualities deserve not that her name should be concealed; she was called Madame Oretta, and was the wife of Signor Geri Spina. Once when she was in the country, and was taking a long walk with some ladies and knights, who had dined at her house the day before, the way seemed a little tedious, and one of the knights, who happened to be on horseback, said, that if she pleased, he would take her up behind him, and entertain her with one of the best stories in the world. The lady willingly accepted the offer. The knight, who told a story with as ill a grace as he wore a sword, began his tale, which was really a good one; but, by frequent repetitions, and beginning it over again to say it better; by mistaking one name for another, and relating everything in the worst manner, he mangled it to that degree, that he made the lady quite sick. Unable to bear it any longer, seeing him set fast and not likely soon to extricate himself, she said pleasantly to him, "sir, your horse has a very uneasy, trot, pray set me down." The knight, who took a hint more readily than he told a story, made a laugh of it, and began another tale, leaving unfinished the one he had begun so badly.
