8-10, Sicilian damsel cheats merchant

NOVEL X. 

A certain Sicilian damsel cheats a merchant of all the money he had taken for his goods at Palermo. Afterwards he pretends to return with a greater stock of goods than before; when he contrives to borrow a large sum of money of her, leaving sham pledges for her security. 

How much they were all diverted with the queen's novel, it is needless to say; and it being now ended, Dioneo began in this manner: - It is certain that a hoax is the more entertaining, the more cunning and artful the person is who is imposed upon by it. Therefore, though the other novels have been agreeable enough, yet I think to relate one that will please you better; inasmuch as the lady outwitted was a greater mistress of such devices, than any of the persons before mentioned. 

It was formerly a custom, and may be still, in seaport towns, for all the merchants that come thither, to bring their goods into a common warehouse, under the keeping of the community, or the lord of the town; when they give a particular account, in writing, of the nature and value of them; the goods are kept under lock and key, and the account entered in a register, for the merchants to pay the accustomed dues, as all or part are sold, and delivered out of the warehouse. From this register, the brokers are informed both of the quantity and quality of the goods, and also who are the owners to treat with for them, either by exchange, truck, or sale. This was the way, among other places, at Palermo, where there was likewise, and is still, great plenty of handsome women, not overstocked with modesty. And yet, to all appearance, many of them were grand ladies, and pretended to a character, though they make it their whole employ to shave and even skin such men as fell into their clutches. No sooner did they see a strange merchant, but they would inform themselves, from that register, of the nature and the value of his goods; and then, by their amorous wiles, they would endeavour to bring him to their lure, which they often did; and some have been choused out of part of their goods; others have lost ship, goods, and body, to boot: so finely have they been handled by these cunning shavers. 

Now it happened, not long since, that a certain young Florentine, called Niccola da Cigniano, though more commonly known by the nick-name Salabaetto, arrived there as a factor, with as much woollen cloth which had been left unsold at the fair of Salerno as might be worth five hundred florins; and having given in his account to the officers, and laid his goods safely up in the warehouse, he was in no great haste to despatch his business, but took a turn up and down I the town to amuse himself. Being a personable young man, one of these female shavers, that we have been speaking of, called Madam Biancofiore, having heard something of his affairs, soon took notice of him, which he perceiving, and supposing she was some great lady who had taken a fancy to him, resolved to conduct the affair with the utmost caution; so without saying a word to any one, he used to take his walks frequently by her house. She was soon sensible of this, and when she thought his affection towards her fully secured, under pretence of languishing for him, she sent one of her women to him, an adept in that sort of business, who told him, with tears in her eyes, that her lady was so in love with him, that she could get no rest night or day; therefore she desired very much, whenever he would do her that favour, to meet him at a bagnio; and with these words she took a ring out of a purse, and gave it him as a token. Salabaetto was overjoyed at the message; so taking the ring, and looking earnestly at it, and kissing it, he put it upon his finger, and said, "If your lady loves me as you say, be assured she has not misplaced her affections, for I love her more than I do mine own life, and shall be ready to meet her at any time and place she shall appoint." She had no sooner reported his answer, than she was posted back to tell him, that her mistress would meet him at such a bagnio that evening. Accordingly, he went thither at the time fixed, and found it engaged for that lady's use. 

He had not waited long before two women slaves came, the one loaded with a fine cotton mattress, and the other a hamper full of things. This mattress they laid upon a bed in one of the chambers, covering it with a fine pair of sheets, curiously edged with silk, and over the whole was spread a rich Grecian counterpoint, with two pillows, worked in a most delicate manner; after which they went into the bath, and cleaned it very carefully, The lady now came, attended by two slaves, and after some sighs and embraces, she said, “My dear Tuscan, there is nobody could have obtained this favour from me but yourself; "so they went into the bath together, and with them two of their slaves, who washed them with soap, scented with musk and gilliflowers. The other slaves then brought two fine sheets, smelling of nothing but roses, in one of which they wrapped Salabaetto, and in the other the lady, and carried them to bed, where after they had lain some time to perspire, those sheets were taken away, and they were left between the others. After this, they took out of the hamper silver canisters of rose, orange, and jessamine water, which they sprinkled upon the bed, and presented them with sweetmeats and rich wines, by way of collation: and he all the time thinking himself in paradise, wishing heartily that they would go away, and leave him in possession of his mistress. At length they left a taper lighting in the chamber, and departed. After they had lain a convenient time, the servants returned, and put on their clothes, and when they had taken more refreshment of wine and sweetmeats, and washed their hands and faces with orange-water, as they were going to depart, she said, "If it be agreeable to you, I should be vastly pleased if you would come and sup with me, and stay all night supposing himself as dear to her as her own heart, he replied, "Madam, whatever is pleasing to you is entirely so to me; now, therefore, and at all times, I shall be ready to obey your commands." 

So she went home, had her apartment richly set out, and provided a costly supper for him. Salabaetto accordingly went thither as soon as it was dark, and was very elegantly received; and after supper they went into a chamber, scented with costly odours, where was a most noble bed, and everything besides that was grand and sumptuous. All this made him conclude, that she was some very great and rich lady. And though he had heard various reports about her, yet he would not believe them for the world; nay, had he been convinced of her tricking other people, he could never have been made to believe that she would serve him so. He stayed with her all that night, and the next morning she made him a present of a fine wrought belt and purse, saying to him, "My dear Salabaetto, fare you well; and from henceforth be persuaded, as you are entirely after my own heart, that my person and all I possess are at your service," He then took his leave with great satisfaction, and went to the place where the merchants usually resort." 

Continuing his visits to her without any expense, and becoming every day more enamoured, it happened, that he sold his cloth, and gained considerable profit. She was immediately apprised of this, not by himself, but by others, and as he was with her one night, she seemed to express a more than ordinary fondness for him, and would needs make him a present of two beautiful silver cups, worth about thirty florins, which he refused to accept, having had divers things of her before, to the value of thirty more, without giving her the worth of a single farthing. At last, after she had set him all on fire, as it were, with this extraordinary love and liberality, she was called out by one of her slaves, as she had contrived beforehand. She returned in a little time full of tears, and throwing herself down upon the bed, appeared to grieve most immoderately. Salabaetto was in the greatest consternation, and taking her in his arms, he began to say, "Alas, my dear heart, what is it that has happened to you thus suddenly? Tell me, my life, I entreat you, do." At last she replied, "My dear lord, I know neither what to do, nor what to say. I have just received letters from Messina, wherein my brother informs me, that, though I pawn all I have, I must, without fail, remit a thousand florins of gold in eight days; otherwise, he must inevitably lose his head. Now I find it impossible to raise the money upon so short a notice: had I but fifteen days, I could procure it from a place whence I could command even a greater sum; or I could sell some of my lands: but as it cannot now be done, I wish I had been in my grave rather than have lived to know this trouble;" and she continued weeping. Salabaetto, whose love had taken away his understanding, thinking that her tears were real, and what she said was true, made answer, "Madam, I am unable to furnish you with a thousand; but with five hundred I can, as you think you will be able to pay me in fifteen days; and it is your good fortune that I happened to sell my cloth yesterday, otherwise I could not have spared you one farthing." - "Alas," quoth the lady, then have you been in want of money? Why did not you speak to me? For though I have not a thousand, I have always a hundred or two to spare for you. You deprive me of the assurance to accept your proffered favour." He, quite captivated with these fine speeches, made answer, "Madam, you shall have it nevertheless; had I been in the like circumstance I should have applied to you." - "Dear sir," She replied, "I am convinced of your most constant and entire love towards me, to supply me with such a sum of your own accord: I was yours before, and now am much more so; nor shall I ever forget that it is to you I am indebted for my brother's life. But Heaven knows I accept it very unwillingly, considering that you are a merchant, and must have occasion for a great deal of ready money; but being constrained by necessity, and assured also that I shall be able to return it at your time, I will make use of it; and I will pawn all my houses rather than fail in my engagement to you." 

With these words she fell, weeping, into his arms. He did all he could to comfort her, and stayed with her all that night; and the next morning, to show what a liberal lover he was, and without waiting for any farther request, he brought her the five hundred florins, which she received with laughter at her heart, though with tears in her eyes, he looking only to her simple promise. 

But after she had got the money, the times were soon changed; and whereas before he had free admittance to her as often as he pleased, now reasons were given that he could not get a sight of her once in seven times that he went; nor did he meet with those smiles and caresses, nor with the same generous reception as before. Moreover, the time limited was past, and one or two months over, and when he demanded his money he could get nothing but words by way of payment. His eyes were now opened to the arts of this wicked woman, as well as his own want of sense; but knowing that he had no proof against her, save what she herself would please to acknowledge, there being no writing of any kind between them, he was ashamed to make his complaint to any one, also on account of the disgrace which he must undergo for his monstrous credulity; so he continued uneasy and disconsolate to the last degree. At last, receiving frequent letters from his masters in which he was required to get bills of exchange for the money, and remit to them, he resolved to leave the place, in order to prevent a discovery, and he embarked on board a little vessel, not for Pisa, as he should have done, but directly for Naples. 

There lived there at that time Signor Pietro dello Canigiano, treasurer to the Empress of Constantinople, a very subtle, sensible man, and a great friend to Salabaetto and his masters. To him he made his case known, requesting his assistance in getting himself a livelihood, and declaring that he would never more return to Florence. Canigiano, who was much concerned for him, replied, "You have done very ill; very ill indeed have you behaved yourself; small is the regard which you have shown to your principals; too much have you expended upon your pleasures. It is done, however, and we must remedy it as well as we can." Then, like a prudent man, he considered what course it was best to take, and acquainted him with it. Salabaetto was pleased with the scheme and resolved to follow it; and having some money of his own, and Canigiano lending him spme, he made divers bales of goods well packed together, and procured about twenty casks for oil, which he filled, and returned with them to Palermo, where he entered them as on his own account in the register, with what value he pleased to put upon them; and he laid them up in the warehouse, declaring that they were not to be meddled with till more goods of his should arrive, which he was daily expecting. 

The lady hearing of this, and understanding that the goods he had already there were worth two thousand florins, and that what remained to come were rated at three thousand more, began to think that she had as yet got too little from him; therefore she thought of returning the five hundred, to come in for a better part of the five thousand, and accordingly she sent for him. He went with malice in his heart, whilst she, seeming to know nothing of what he had brought, appeared wonderfully pleased at seeing him, and said, "Now, were you really vexed because I failed to give you your money at your time?"He smiled, and replied, "In truth, madam, I was a little uneasy, since I would pluck my very heart out if I thought it would please you; but you shall see how much I was offended. Such is my regard for you, that I have sold the greatest part of my estate, and have brought as much merchandise as is worth two thousand florins, and I expect from the Levant what will amount to three thousand more; resolving to have a warehouse, and to abide here, for the sake of being near you, as I think nobody can be happier in his love than I am in yours." 

"Now trust me, Salabaetto," said the lady, "whatever redounds to your benefit is extremely pleasing to me, as I hold you dearer than my own life; and I am glad you are returned with an intention of staying, because I hope to have a great deal of your company; but it is fit that I excuse myself to you, for that sometimes you came to see me, and were not admitted, and at other times not so cheerfully received as before; and besides this, for my not paying you the money according to promise. Now you must know that I was then in very great trouble, and upon such occasions, be one's love what it may, one cannot look so pleasantly as at another time; I must tell you likewise that it is a very difficult thing for a lady to raise a thousand florins, people impose upon us in such a manner, without ever minding what they promise; so that we are forced to disappoint others. Hence it was, then, and for no other reason, that I did not return you your money; but I had got it ready just as you went away, and would have sent it after you, had I known where to find you; but as I did not, I kept it carefully for you. So sending for a purse, which had the very same florins in it that he had delivered to her, she put it into his hand, saying, “see, and count if there are five hundred." Never was Salabaetto so overjoyed as at that moment; so telling them over, and finding there were just five hundred, he replied, "Madam, I am convinced that what you say is true; but let us talk no more about it, you have done your part, and I assure you, upon that account, as well as the love I have for you, that whatever sum of money you shall want at any time, if it be in my power to supply you, you may command it; as you shall soon see upon trial. Thus their love being renewed, in word at least, he continued artfully his visits as before; whilst she showed him all the respect and honour that could be, expressing the same fondness as ever. But he, willing to return measure for measure, being invited one night to sup with her, went thither, all sad and melancholy, like a person in despair. When she, kissing and embracing him, would needs know the cause of all that sorrow. He, having suffered her to entreat him for some time, at last said, "I am undone; for the ship which had the goods on board, that I have been expecting, is taken by the corsairs of Monaco, and put up at the ransom of ten thousand florins, one thousand of which falls to my share, and I have not one farthing to pay it with; for the five hundred which you paid me, I sent instantly to Naples, to lay out in cloth to be sent hither; and were I to offer to sell the goods I have here, as it is an unfavourable time, I must do it to a very great loss; and, being a stranger, I have nobody to apply to; so that I know neither what to say nor what to do: and if the money be not sent immediately, the ship will be carried into Monaco, and then they will be past redemption." 

She was under great concern at hearing this, reckoning a good part of it as lost to herself; and considering how to I prevent the goods being sent to Monaco, at last she said, "Heaven knows how much my love for you makes me grieve I for your misfortune. But to what purpose is that? Had I the money, I would instantly give it you; but I have not. Indeed there is a person that lent me five hundred florins the other day, when I was in distress, but he expects an exorbitant interest, viz., no less than thirty in the hundred. If you will have the money of this man, you must give him good security. Now I am ready to pledge my goods here, and pass my word as far as that will go to serve you; but how will you secure the remainder? Salabaetto knew the reason of her proposing this piece of service, and that she herself was to lend the money; so, being well pleased, he returned her thanks, and said, that, let the interest be what it would, his necessity was such that he must agree to it: then he added, that he would give security upon his goods which he had in the warehouse, and that they should be assigned over in the register to the person who advanced the money, but that he would keep the key, as well for the sake of showing them, if anybody should want to see them, as to prevent their being exchanged or meddled with. The lady replied, "That will do very well, the security is sufficient;"and, at the time appointed, sending for a broker, in whom she put great confidence, she told him what he was to do, and gave hira the money, which he carried straightway to Salabaetto, who assigned over his goods to him at the custom- house, and they were entered in his name; thus they parted, giving each other counter-security. Salabaetto now immediately embarked with the fifteen hundred florins, and went to Pietro dello Canigiano at Naples, whence he remitted to his masters at Florence the entire amount of what he had made of their cloth; and having paid Pietro and every one else what he owed them, they laughed very heartily together at the trick put upon his Sicilian mistress. Thence, resolving to trade no longer, he went to Florence. In the meantime the lady, finding Salabaetto was not at Palermo, began to wonder, and grow half suspicious; and, after waiting two months, and hearing nothing of his return, she made the broker force open the warehouse, when first she tried the casks, which she supposed had been full of oil, and found them full of salt water, with a small quantity of oil at the top, just at the bung-hole. She then looked into the bales of goods, only two of which had cloth in them, the rest being stuffed with coarse hurds of hemp; and, in short, the whole was not worth two hundred florins. So, finding herself thus imposed upon, she was under great affliction for a long time, with regard to the five hundred florins that she had restored, and much more for the thousand she had lent, often saying, "that whoever had to do with a Tuscan, had need have all their eyes about them." Thus she became a common jest afterwards, having found to her cost that some people have as much cunning as others. 

[A story like this may be found in "Petrus Alphonsus," and another in the
"Arabian Nights,"] 

After Dioneo had made an end, Lauretta, knowing that her reign was concluded, and having commended the good advice of Pietro Canigiano, as appeared by its effect, and the sagacity of Salabaetto, no less to be admired, in putting it in execution, took the crown from her own head, and placed it upon Emilia's saying, "Madam, I do not know whether you will make a pleasant queen or not, but a pretty one I am sure you will. See then that your works correspond with your beauty." Emilia, not so much for the honour conferred upon her, as for hearing herself commended on account of that which ladies most of all covet, blushed a little, her face looking like the opening of a rose in the morning. After she had bent her eyes upon the ground, till the redness was something gone off, and had given her orders to the master of the household, concerning what she would have done, she began in this manner: "We often see, ladies, that after oxen have laboured at the yoke all the day, they are then turned loose, and permitted to graze through the forests at their pleasure. It is also certain, that gardens, which have a variety of trees in them, are more delightful than groves where nothing is seen but oaks: for which reasons, considering how many days we have been confined to certain laws, it may be convenient for us all to take a little liberty to refresh, and gain strength against our returning to the yoke. I shall, therefore, give you no particular subject for tomorrow, but leave you all to please yourselves, being of opinion, that a variety of things will be no less entertaining than keeping strictly to one. My successor, if he pleases, may keep to the old laws." She then gave them leave to depart till supper-time. The queen's order was generally approved, and they went to their different amusements. The ladies made nose-gays and chaplets of flowers, and the gentlemen sat down to play, or else to sing; and thus they were employed till supper, when they placed themselves by the fountain-side, and supped very merrily together. Afterwards they began to dance and sing, when the queen, to pursue the method of her predecessors, besides what many of them had voluntarily given, ordered Pamfilo to sing a song, which he did as follows: 

SONG. 

Such the abundant am'rous joy,

With which my heart elate hath been. 

As no restraint, no bounds to know 

And flushing in my face is seen! 

In vain my feeble song essays 

To paint what cannot be exprest; 

And which more fully to have known, 

Would bring but jealousy at best. 

Could I have formed a wish like this. 

My utmost hope have reached so far, 

To clasp her yielding taper waist, 

And press my eager lips to her? 

Everyone joined in Pamfilo's song; nor were there any among them but made more conjectures than were necessary, to find out what he meant to conceal; and though they imagined different things, yet none of them guessed right. Finally the queen, seeing the song was ended, and that the company were disposed to rest, gave orders for them all to retire to bed. 

8-9, Master Simon, Bruno, Buffalmacco, company, rovers, ditch

NOVEL IX. 

Master Simon, the doctor, is imposed upon by Bruno and Buffalmacco, and made to believe that he is to be one of the company of rovers, and afterwards they leave him in a ditch. 

The community of wives, mentioned in the last novel, occasioned a good deal of discourse, when the queen, knowing it was her turn, began in this manner: - Well did Spinelloccio deserve what he met with from his friend Zeppa; and I think they are not to blame who put jests upon people of their own seeking, and such as they have really merited, though Pampinea was of a different opinion. Now as to Spinelloccio, what he got was no more than his due; but I purpose to speak of another, who would needs seek after it, and I commend those merry fellows for what they did. This then was a certain doctor of physic, who returned from Bologna to Florence, strutting in the robes belonging to his profession, though an ass would have become them as well as he. 

Every day we see our townsmen, after they have been to study at Bologna, come back, one a lawyer, another a physician, a third a notary, with their long scarlet gowns and furs, with other mighty fine things; and to what purpose every day's experience shows us. Amongst the rest was one Master Simon da Villa, more rich in estate than learning, who appeared in his scarlet robes and ermine, calling himself a doctor of physic, and took a house in the Via del Cocomoro. Now, this Master Simon, amongst his other notable qualities, had one which was to inquire who every person was that he saw in the street, and, as though he was to have compounded his medicines according to the different gestures and manners of people, he observed and noted all. But he had cast his eye more particularly upon two painters of whom we have twice heard mention today, - Bruno and Buffalmacco, who were always together, and lived in his neighbourhood. Noticing that they let the world wag more carelessly than other people, and were always more cheerful, he asked a great number of persons about them. Being told then by every one that they were both poor men, and painters, he could not conceive how they could possibly live so merrily in their poverty, but supposed, as they were cunning fellows, that they must have some secret way of getting money. He had a mind therefore to become acquainted with one or both of them, and so he happened to fall in with Bruno, who, soon seeing to the bottom of him, made the merest game of him that could be, whilst the doctor was always wonderfully delighted to hear him talk. Having invited him several times to dinner, and thinking upon that account that he might discourse the more freely with him, he expressed, .at length, his great wonder how he and Buffalmacco, who were both poor, could yet be so cheerful, and desired to know how they managed in that case. Bruno could not help laughing to himself, to hear the doctor put such a simple question, and resolved to give him a suitable answer. 

"There are many people, master," he said, "that I would never tell that to, but as you are a friend, and I know will keep it secret, I shall be less scrupulous with you. It is true we live as merrily as you imagine, or perhaps more so, and yet all we earn or possess will hardly find us salt to our broth, and I hope you do not think we steal: no, we go a roving, and bring home with us everything we can desire; and thus it comes to pass that we live so merrily as you observe." The doctor wondered what this going a roving could mean, and desired he would inform him, assuring him that he would never reveal the secret. "Alas, Master Doctor," quoth the other, "what a request is this! It is too great a secret, and I shall be ruined if I disclose it." - "You may depend upon what I say," quoth the doctor, "it shall never go farther for me." Bruno then, after making abundance of excuses, said, "Behold, master, the regard I have for your superexcellent understanding, and the confidence I repose in you is such, that I can deny you nothing; therefore I will tell you, if you will swear to me, as you have just now promised, never to reveal it." The doctor swore, and swore again. 

"You must know then, my dear master," quoth he, "that there was lately a necromancer in this city called Mr. Michael Scotus, because he was a Scotchman, who had great honour shown him by many of the gentry, few of whom are now living; and he, being about to quit this place, at their request left it in charge with two of his disciples, that they should always be ready to serve those people who had honoured him. Some, therefore, they obliged in their love-affairs, and some in other matters. At last, being taken with the city, and the manners of the people, they resolved to make it their place of residence, when they contracted a friendship with divers persons, such as were agreeable to their own tempers, without considering whether those people were rich or poor at that time: and to please those friends they established a new society of five and twenty persons, who were to meet in some place that was fixed upon by them, twice at least in each month, when every one was to say what he wanted, and they supplied him with it that very night. Now my friend and I, as a particular mark of favour to us, were admitted into this society. And it is wonderful to behold the costly furniture in the room where we sit, the tables spread in the most royal manner, with the great number of goodly servants, both men and women, at every one's command; the basins, flagons, and cups also both of gold and silver, out of which we eat and drink, and the great variety and plenty of victuals which are set before us. It is impossible for me to tell you what different musical instruments there are, and the delightful melody that we hear; or what numbers of wax candies are burnt at one of these feasts, any more than the immense quantities of sweet-meats consumed, and the very rich wines which are drunk. Now, I would not have you suppose, my dear friend, that we appear in the same dress that you behold. No, there is, not one of us that seems less than an Emperor, so richly are we attired. 

"But of all our pleasures, that of having the ladies' company is the greatest, and they are brought to us, according to every one's desire, from all quarters of the world. There 

you may see the great lady of Barbanicchia, the Queen of Baschia, the wife of the great Sultan, the Empress of Osbech, the Ciancianfera of Norvecca, the Semistante of Berlinzone, and the Scalpedra of Narsia. But what need have I to recount so many? There are all the queens in the world, even to Prester John's lady. Then observe now: after we have eaten and drunk, and taken a dance or two, every one selects that particular lady whom he had desired should be sent for: and you must know that the chambers we retire to are a perfect paradise, and no less odoriferous than a perfumer's shop; the beds also that we lie in, are as beautiful as the very best that belongs to the duke of Venice. You may judge then of our happiness. But none seem to fare better at these times than my friend and I; for he generally has the queen of France, and I have the queen of England, who are the two most beautiful ladies in the whole world, and they like no other persons as well as us. Imagine, therefore, if we have not reason to be merry more than other people; for, besides having the affection of two such queens, if we want a thousand or two thousand florins at any time, they immediately supply us. And this we call going a roving; for as the corsairs rob and plunder every one they meet, so do we, with this difference only, that they make no restitution, which we do as soon as the money has served our purpose. Thus I have told you, master, what we mean by going a roving; you may easily see how great a secret it is, and so I need say no more to you upon that head." 

The doctor, whose knowledge reached no further, perhaps, than to cure children of the itch, gave the same credit to this story as he would have done to the most established truth, and became as desirous of being admitted into this society, as he could have been of anything in the world: so he told Bruno, that he did not wonder to see him so cheerful, and could scarcely refrain from asking the favour of being accepted among them, deferring it only till he could do it with a better grace. From that time, therefore, he was continually inviting him to dine and sup; and their intimacy was such, that the doctor scarcely knew how to live without him. Not to seem ungrateful for these favours, Bruno painted in his hall the whole story of Lent, and an Agnus Dei over his chamber-door, and a urinal over the door to the street, that people who wanted his advice might know where to have it. He painted also, in a little gallery, the battle of the cats and the rats, which the doctor thought a pretty fancy. And some nights, when he happened to sup elsewhere, he would say at his return, "I was last night at our meeting, when, being displeased with the Queen of England, I ordered the Gumedra of the great Cham of Tartary. to be brought me." - "Pray, what does that word mean?" quoth the doctor; "I do not understand such names." - "I do not wonder at that," said Bruno; "for Porcograsso and Vannacena take no notice of them." - "You mean," quoth the doctor, "Ipocrasso and Avicenna." - "Very likely; but I know as little of those names as you know of mine. Gumedra means the same thing in the grand Cham's language as Empress! O! you would think her a fine woman; she would soon make you forget all your recipes and your plasters." 

Talking frequently in this manner, to excite him the more, and the doctor thinking, one night as he held the candle for him whilst he was painting, that he was now under sufficient obligations to grant any favour he should desire, he resolved to open his mind, as they were alone. "Bruno," he said, "there is nobody that I value so much as yourself; nor is there anything you could ask, but what I should be ready to oblige you in; then be not surprised at my making one request to you. You know not long since, you were telling me of your meetings; now there is nothing I desire so much as to make one amongst you, and for a very good reason; for I will bring the prettiest girl into your company that you have seen a long time, to whom I have devoted my entire love, and you must know I once offered her ten pieces, and she refused them. Tell me then, I pray you, what I must do to be admitted, and do you take care that I be so, and I promise that you shall always find me your true and trusty friend. You may observe what a good-looking man I am, how well I am set up on my legs; my face is like a rose, and I am a doctor of physic too, and perhaps you have none of that profession among you; moreover I know a great many pretty things, and can sing divers pretty songs, as you shall hear." Then he began one, whilst Bruno had much ado to keep his countenance, and after he had done, he asked him what he thought of it. "Most certainly," replied he, "the best violin is no way comparable." "Then," quoth the doctor, "to this and many other qualifications, too tedious to relate at present, I may add, that my father was a gentleman, though he lived in a country village, and my mother of the Vallecchio family. Besides, there is no physician in Florence has better clothes, or more complete library than myself; and I give you my word, that if you be sick at any time, I will cure you for nothing." Bruno, to make him believe that he was more intent upon his painting, replied, "Pray, sir, snuff the candle, and let me finish this rat's tail, and then I will talk with you." 

When the tail was finished, he put on a look as if the doctor's request had much perplexed him, and said, "Oh, sir, I have received great favours from you, and I know it; but this thing you require of me is a most serious matter. There is nobody that I would serve sooner that yourself, but indeed you ask more than lies within my power. But though I cannot directly oblige you in what you desire, yet if you would keep it a profound secret, I could put you into a method whereby I am very sure you will succeed." - "Then tell me," quoth the doctor; "you do not know how well I can keep a secret; Signor Guasparruolo da Saliceto, when he was a judge, intrusted me with many things." - "Well," quoth Bruno, "if he trusted you, I may do it more securely. The means you are to use are as follows: we have a captain and two counsellors, who are chosen every six months; and next Christmas Buffalmacco will certainly be the captain, and I one of the counsellors. Now it is in the captain's power to admit you, if he pleases, therefore you should immediately get acquainted with him. I know he will be very fond of you, as he is of all men of understanding; and after you have been often in his company, and ingratiated yourself with him, you may then ask the favour, and he will not know how to refuse you. I have given him a good account of you already, and he has conceived a great regard for you; and when you have done as I said, you may leave the rest to me." - "You say well," quoth the doctor, "if he delights in people of sense and learning, he will not miss of his aim: I have enough of both to furnish a whole city, and yet leave sufficient for myself." When the matter was thus arranged, Bruno went and related the whole to Buffalmacco, who thought it an age till he could let the doctor have what he sought for. On the other hand, the doctor, who was so eager to be a rover, found it no hard matter to get acquainted with him; and he began to treat the two friends, both noon and night, with everything that was nice and dainty, so that they lived entirely upon him; telling him, at the same time, that it was a favour they would show to nobody else. At length, when he thought it a fit time, he made the same request to Buffalmacco that he had done before to Bruno, whereat the former seemed much incensed, and made a great clamour at his friend, threatening to break his head for betraying those secrets to the doctor. But the doctor did all he could to excuse him, protesting that he had it from another person. 

On this, Buffalmacco seemed a little more pacified, and said, "Dear doctor, I plainly see you have been at the university, and know how to keep your mouth shut upon occasion; and I farther tell you, that you have not learned your A, B, C, in the manner most blockheads do: moreover, if I am not mistaken, you were born on a Sunday; and though Bruno tells me that your study has been physic, yet to me it seems as if you had learned to captivate men, which you do by your great sense, and manner of speaking, far beyond any that I ever heard." Here the doctor interrupted him, and said, turning to Bruno, "This it is to have to do with people of understanding; there are few persons that could have penetrated into the depth of my designs so easily as this worthy man has done. You did not take my meaning half so soon; but let him know what I said upon your telling me that he delighted in people of sense. Do not you think I spoke truth at that time ?" "No doubt," replied the other. Then said he to Buffalmacco, "What would you have said, had you seen me at Bologna, where were none, either great or small, doctor or scholar, but doated on me, so much did they profit by my wise discourses? Nay, more than that, I never spoke but they all laughed, so highly were they pleased to hear me. And when I came away, they expressed the greatest concern imaginable at parting with me, and to encourage me to continue with them, offered me the sole privilege of reading lectures on medicine to all the students. But I refused it, being resolved to come and live here upon my estate, which is very considerable." - "Well," said Bruno to his friend, "what think you now? You would not believe me when I told you that there was not a physician in all this country could cast an ass's water better than himself; nor is there his fellow, I will maintain it, from this place to Paris. Now, try your best, and see if you can deny him anything." - "Bruno is quite in the right," quoth the doctor; "but here nobody knows me; they are all a parcel of ignorant, stupid people; but I wish you had seen how I appeared among the doctors." - "Indeed, master doctor," quoth Buffalmacco, "you know a great deal more than I could have thought; in which respect, speaking to you as becomes me to a person of your understanding and parts, I dare assure you that you shall be one of our society." This promise made him increase his favours towards them, and they were extremely diverted with his great simplicity, promising that he should have the Countess di Civillari (*1: This means no more than a common jakes) for his mistress, who was the goodliest and sweetest creature in the whole world. The doctor asked what countess this was. "O," quoth Buffalmacco, " She is a very great lady, and there are few houses but where she has some jurisdiction. Her officers are all about, and store of her great barons are to be seen everywhere, namely, Tamagnin (*2: These are all different words for the same thing, ) della Porta, Don Meta, Manico di Scopa, and the rest, whose names have escaped me. You shall leave your old mistress, then, for this lady, of whom we will give you the full possession." 

Now the doctor, who had been brought up at Bologna, understood not the meaning of these Florentine terms, and so was pleased with the hopes of enjoying what they had promised him. In a little time they brought him the news of his being admitted. The day, therefore, that they were to have their meeting, he had them both to dine with him, and after dinner he asked them in what manner he had best go to this assembly. Buffalmacco replied, "It behoves you, master, to proceed resolutely, otherwise you may receive an impediment, and do us great injury. Now you shall hear in what manner I would have you do so. You must contrive to be upon one of those raised tombs in the new St. Maria's church-yard, at the time of the people's going to sleep, with your best gown on, in order to make a figure amongst us at your first appearance, and to verify our character of you to the countess, who intends to make you a knight of the bath, at her own expense. There you must wait till we send for you. And, that you may be apprised of everything, I must acquaint you that there will be a black-horned beast, of no great stature, come for you, capering and dancing about to terrify you; but, after he finds you are not to be daunted, he will gently come near you, when you may descend from the tomb, and, without thinking of heaven, or any of the saints, mount boldly upon his back, and, as soon as you shall be seated, lay your hands upon your breast, without touching him: he will then move easily along and bring you to us; but if you mention anything of a prayer, or express the least fear, he will throw you down into some noisome place or other; so that you had better not attempt it, unless you can depend upon your own courage; for you may do us a great deal of mischief, and yourself no good." "You do not know me yet," said the doctor; "because I wear a gown you think me faint-hearted. If you did but know what I have done some nights at Bologna, when I went with some of my companions to visit the girls there, you would be surprised. One night, I assure you, I met with a little young baggage, who refused to go along with us, when I dragged her by force a considerable way, and afterwards she went willingly enough. Another time, I remember, having nobody with me but my boy, that I went through the friar's church-yard, after evening prayers, though a woman had been buried there that night, and was not at all afraid. Never fear, therefore, but I will be as courageous and resolute as you can desire. To do you the greater honour, too, I intend to go in the scarlet robes in which I commenced doctor, and you will see what joy there will be in your assembly at my coming, and if I shall not go near to be immediately declared your captain. You shall see also how the case will go after I have made my appearance, in regard to the countess, who, having as yet never seen me, is so enamoured with me, that she will make me a knight of the bath; and as to supporting the honour, that you may leave to me." - "Very well spoken," said Buffalmacco; "but take care you do not impose upon us, and so not come at all, or be not found there when we send for you; and I give you this caution because the weather is cold, and you doctors love to take care of yourselves." - "No," quoth the doctor, "I am one of those hardy ones that have no regard for the weather, and if I have occasion to rise in the night, I only put a fur gown over my doublet; so you need make no doubt about it." 

As soon as they were departed, and it was night, he made some excuse or other to his wife, and got away his best gown, which he put on when he thought it was the time, and went and stood upon one of the grave-stones, it being a very cold night, expecting the beast; whilst Buffalmacco, who was pretty lusty, had procured a mask, such as they used formerly in farces, and covered himself with a black fur gown, which was turned inside out, so that he seemed like a bear, only that as his mask had two horns, he had more the appearance of the devil. Thus equipped, he went to the square by new St. Maria's, Bruno following at a distance, to see how things went on. As soon as Buffalmacco found that his doctor was there, he fell a skipping about, and roaring as if he were mad, which put our physician into a most terrible fright, and he began to wish heartily that he was safe at home again. But as he was come out upon this affair, he resolved to go through with it, so urgent was his desire to behold the wonders which they had been relating to him. At last, after Buffalmacco had played his tricks for some time, he grew a little more quiet, and drew near to the stone where the doctor stood keeping himself well out of harm's way. He shook all over for fear, and was in doubt for some time whether he should mount or not; till, apprehending that some mischief might befall him if he did not, this latter fear expelled the former, and coming down from the tomb, he mounted upon the beast, praying God to help him, and laid his hands upon his breast, as he had been directed. 

Buffalmacco then began to shape his course towards St. Maria della Scala, and thence carried the doctor, groping all the way in the dark, as far as the ladies of Ripole. Hereabouts were divers ditches, made by the husbandmen, to empty the Countess di Civilian into, for the sake of manuring their lands afterwards. Buffalmacco then, being come to the brink of one of them, and putting his hand under one of the doctor's feet, pitched him headlong in; and then, after making a terrible noise, stamping and roaring about, he went back by St. Maria della Scala, towards Prato d'Ogni Santi, where he met with Bruno, who had been forced to leave him, because he could not hold from laughing; and both turned back once more, to see how the poor doctor would behave in that condition. The unlucky candidate for admission to the company of Rovers, finding himself in such a place, laboured with all his might to get released; but falling sometimes on one side, and sometimes on the other, he was besmeared all over, till at length, with the utmost difficulty, he made shift to scramble out with the loss of his hood. Then he cleaned himself as well as he could, and not knowing what other course to take, he went home, and knocked at the door till they let him in. The door was no sooner shut again, than Bruno and Buffalmacco were there listening, to hear what a reception the doctor would meet with from his wife, who fell upon him with all the bad language she could devise, saying, "You are in a fine condition, truly! - What, you have been with some other woman, and so had a mind to make a figure in your scarlet robes! - Am not I enough for you? I wish you had been choked when you fell into all that nastiness. Here is a fine physician, indeed! who is not content with his own wife, but must be running out at night after other women." With these and such like words she rated him till midnight, when she had him washed and made clean. 

The next morning Bruno and Buffalmacco came to his house with their bodies all painted over with blue spots, as if they had been beaten, when they found him just risen out of bed, and everything in a sad condition. Seeing them coming, he went and wished them a good morning; but they appeared to be much out of temper, and replied, "We wish you had been hanged for a sorry man as you are; we have been near losing our lives, meaning to do you honour, being beaten like two asses, and in danger of being excluded our assembly, where we would have had you introduced. If you will not believe us, behold our bodies; “so taking him into a corner, where there was not much light, they just opened their bosoms for him to see, and immediately buttoned them up again. The doctor endeavoured to excuse himself, and was telling them of his misfortunes, and where he had been thrown; when Buffalmacco blurted out, "I wish you had been thrown from the bridge into the river; what had you to do with prayers? Were not you told of that beforehand?" - "Indeed," quoth he, "I used no prayers." - "How do you say! no prayers!"answered the others; "I am sure our messenger told us, that you prayed, and trembled like an aspen leaf. We will never be served so again, either by you or any one else; nor must you expect ever any more to have such favour showed you." The doctor now began to ask pardon, entreating them not to be angry; and, lest they should expose him, by making the affair public, he entertained them at his house more than ever. And thus our doctor was taught something more than he had learned at Bologna. 

8-8, two neighbours, wife, chest

NOVEL VIII. 

Two neighbours are very intimate together, when one making very free with the other's wife, the other finds it out, and returns the compliment, whilst the friend is locked up in a chest all the time. 

The lady's sufferings seemed grievous to all who heard them; though their pity for her was the less, as they judged that she had in some measure deserved them; whilst the scholar was deemed most rigidly obstinate, and even cruel. But Pampinea having made an end, the queen ordered Fiammetta to go on, who spoke as follows; - As I suppose you have been under some concern for the scholar's severity, it may be proper, I believe, to revive your drooping spirits with some more cheerful subject. Therefore I shall tell you a story of a certain young man, who received an injury with more mildness than he, and returned it with more moderation. Whence you may learn, that a person ought to be content if he gives people as good as they bring, without desiring an unreasonable vengeance, and far beyond what the provocation which he may have received requires. 

Know, then, that at Siena lived, as I have been told, two wealthy young citizens, the one named Spinelloccio Tanena, and the other Zeppa di Mino, near neighbours to each other, and as intimate together as if they had been brothers, and each had a very handsome wife. Now it happened that Spinelloccio, going often to the other's house, whether he was at home or not, became too familiar at last with his wife, which continued some time before anybody perceived it. But Zeppa being at home one day, without her knowing it, Spinelloccio came to enquire for him, and being told by her that he was gone abroad, he began to make free with her as Usual. This Zeppa was a witness to, and greatly troubled at; yet knowing that making a clamour would no way lessen the injury, but rather add to his shame, he began to think of some revenge, which should make no noise abroad, and with which he should yet be content. 

Resolving at length what to do, he went into the room after the friend was gone away, when he found his wife setting her head-dress a little to rights, and he said, "What are you doing, madam?" " She replied, "Do you not see?" - "Yes, truly," quoth he, "and I have seen a great deal more than I could have wished. So he charged her with the thing, and she came to an open confession, as it was in vain to deny it, and began to weep and beg his pardon. He then said to her, "You see you have been guilty of a very great crime; if you expect forgiveness from me, you must resolve to do what I shall enjoin you, which is to tell Spinelloccio that about the third hour tomorrow he must find some pretence for leaving me to go to you, when I will return home; and as soon as you hear me, do you make him go into that chest, and lock him up, and after you have done this, I will tell you the rest. Have no doubt, however, about it, for I promise you I will do him no harm." She agreed to do so, and kept her word. 

The next day, the two friends being together, Spinelloccio, who had promised the lady to be with her then, said to Zeppa, "I am engaged to go and dine with a friend, whom I would not have wait for me: so fare you well." "It is a long while till dinner yet," said Zeppa. - "Yes," replied the other, "but we have business to confer about, which requires me to be there in good time. So he left him, took a little circuit, and went to the lady. No sooner were they shut in together in the chamber than Zeppa returned; when she, seeming to be very much frightened, made Spinelloccio go into the chest, as the husband had directed, locked him up, and then came out to her husband, who asked her whether dinner was ready. "It will be very soon," she replied, - "Then," said he, "as Spinelloccio has gone to dine with a friend, and has left his wife at home by herself, go and call to her out of the window, to come and dine with us." The lady whose fear for herself had rendered her very obedient, did as she was desired, and Spinelloccio's wife came, after much entreaty, hearing that her husband was not to dine at home. 

Zeppa shewed the greatest fondness towards her imaginable, and making a sign for his wife to go into the kitchen, he took her familiarly by the hand, led her into the chamber, and locked the door. Upon this she began to say, "Oh, Zeppa, w.iat means this? Is this what you invited me for? Is this the regard you have for your friend Spinelloccio?"

Zeppa having got her up to the chest where her husband was shut in, and holding her fast, replied, "Madam, before you utter any complaints, hear what I am going to tell you: I have loved your husband, and still love him, as a brother; and what has come of the trust I reposed in him? Yesterday I found out, though he knows nothing of it, that he is as intimate with my wife as he is with you. Now I respect him so much, that I intend to take no other revenge than simple retaliation. He has had my wife, and I mean to have you. If you will not consent to this, be assured I shall revenge myself in such a manner, that both he and you shall have cause to repent it." Then, in reply to the lady's remonstrances, he entered into such details as convinced her of the truth of what he alleged. - "Well, Zeppa," she said, at last, 'since your revenge is to fall upon me, I must be content. Only make my peace with your wife for what we are going to do, in like manner as I am ready to forgive her." - "Be assured I will do that," he said, "and moreover I will make you a present also of as fine a jewel as you could wish to have. So saying he fell to kissing her; and laying her down on the chest in which her husband was locked up, he took his fill of revenge, and so did she too on her own account. 

Spinelloccio, hearing what passed, was fit to burst with vexation; and had it not been that he was prevented by the fear of Zeppa's anger, he would have roared out, and abused his wife, even shut up as he was. But considering again that he had given the provocation, and that Zeppa had reason for what he had done, and had behaved humanely and like a friend, he resolved to respect him more than ever. 

When Zeppa had received full satisfaction from the lady, he got up from the chest. She asked for the jewel which he had promised, whereupon he went to the door and called his wife, who coming in with a smile said only this to her, "Madam, you have given me tit for tat." Then said Zeppa, "Here, open this chest." She did so, and he showed Spinelloccio to his wife. Now it would be difficult to sav which of the two was the more confounded: the man at seeing his friend, and knowing that he was privy to what he had done, or the woman at seeing her husband, and being conscious that he must have heard and felt what she had done over his head. "Behold," added Zeppa, "this is the jewel; I now give it you.'spinelloccio hereupon came out of the chest, and said, "Well, now we are even; and, as you said before to my wife, it is best for us to Continue friends:" Zeppa was content; so they all four sat down to dinner together in the greatest peace and harmony; and from that day forth each of the wives had two husbands, and each of the husbands two wives, without the least dispute or grudge ever arising between them on that account. 

[This story is in the "Seven Wise Masters," of Hebers, but was probably suggested to Boccaccio by the latter part of the Fabliau, "Constant du Hamel" (Le Grand, iv, 226). There, a priest, a provost, and a forester, attempt to seduce a peasant's wife. The husband has thus a triple vengeance to execute. But, in the Fabliau, this was an ungrateful return to the wife, who had not yielded to the solicitations of her lovers, but had contrived to coop them up successively in a tun which held feathers. The Fabliau, again, probably derived its origin from some oriental tale. In the story of Arruya, in the “Persian Tales," a lady solicited by a cadi, a doctor, and a governor, exposes them to each other. To Persia the story has probably come from the Brahmins, as there is a similar incident in the "Bahar Danush," which is founded on their traditions. Boccaccio's tale is introduced in La Fontaine's "Le Faiseur d'oreilles et le racommodeur de moules."