6-3, Madam Nonna de' Pulci, Bishop of Florence

NOVEL III. 

Madam Nonna de' Pulci silences the Bishop of Florence, by a smart reply to an unseemly piece of raillery. 

Cisti's answer and his generosity having been highly commended, the queen gave her orders to Lauretta, who began as follows: - Most gracious ladies, Pampinea, the other day, and Filomena now, have both justly touched upon our own little merit, as well as the beauty of repartees: therefore, as it is needless to say anything farther upon that head, I shall only remind you, that your words should be such as only to nip or touch the hearer, as the sheep nibbles the grass, and not as the dog bites; for in that case it is no longer wit, but foul scurrility. This was excellently well set forth, both in what was said by Oretta, and in the reply of Cisti. It is true, however, that if a sharp thing be spoken by way of answer, and bites a little too keenly, yet if the person who answers in that manner was stung first, he is the less to blame. Therefore, you should be cautious both how, when, and with whom you jest. For want of attending sufficiently to this, a certain prelate of ours met with a sharper bite than he had given, as I shall show you in a very short novel. When Signor Antonio d'Orso, a most wise and worthy person, was bishop of Florence, a certain gentleman of Catalonia, marshal to King Robert, happened to come thither; who, having a good person, and being a great admirer of the fair sex, took a particular liking to a lady of that city, who was niece to the bishop's brother; and understanding that her husband, though of a good family, was most abominably sordid and covetous, he agreed to give him five hundred florins of gold to let him pass one night with her. Accordingly he got so many pieces of silver gilt, which he gave to him, and then obtained his desire contrary to her will and knowledge. This being discovered soon afterwards, the wretch became the common jest and scorn of mankind; but the bishop, like a wise man, affected to know nothing of the matter. 

The bishop being often in company with the marshal, it happened on St. John's day, that, as they were riding side by side through the city, viewing the ladies all the way, that the bishop cast his eye upon one, named Monna de' Pulchi, then newly married, and who is since dead of the plague, cousin also to Alesso Rinucci, whom you all knew: this lady, besides her great beauty, was endowed with a generous spirit, and spoke pertinently and well. Showing her, therefore, to the marshal, as soon as they came near her, he laid his hand upon the marshal's shoulder, and said, "Madam, what do you think of this gentleman? Could he make a conquest over you or not?" This seemed to touch her honour, or at least she thought it might give some persons present a worse opinion of her. Without ever thinking, then, how to clear herself of such a charge, but resolving to return like for like, she replied, "Perhaps he might, my lord; but then I should like to be paid with good money." This touched them both to the quick; the one as doing a very dishonourable thing to the bishop's relation; the other as receiving in his own person the shame belonging to his brother. And they rode away, without so much as looking at one another, or exchanging a word together all the day after. Very justly, therefore, did this lady bite the biter.