8-4, provost, church, Fiesole, Ciutazza

NOVEL IV. 

The provost of the church of Fiesole is in love with a lady who has no liking to him, and he, thinking that he is in bed with her, is all the time with her maid, and her brothers bring the bishop thither to witness it. 

Eliza's novel was ended, when the queen, without delay, turned to Emilia, who began in this manner: - It will appear from our preceding novels, that priests, friars, and the rest of the clergy, have contributed their full share to our diversion: but as so much can hardly be said, but something may be added, I shall, therefore, tell you a story of a certain provost, who had a mind to make a lady love him, whether she would or not, and who was accordingly treated by her as he deserved. 

Fiesole, the summit whereof you may descry from this place, was once a great and ancient city, and, though now in ruins, had always its bishop, and so it has still. Near the cathedral, in a little house of her own, a widow lady, named Ricarda, resided for the greatest part of the year, with two of her brothers, both very worthy gentlemen. Now, as she went constantly to church, it happened that the provost fell so much in love with her, that he was never easy but in her company; and in process of time he had the assurance to speak to her, entreating her to regard him with the same tender feelings he entertained for her. This provost was somewhat ancient, but yet of a juvenile disposition: he was so proud also and haughty, and did everything with so ill a grace, that he was disagreeable to all the world. The lady, in particular, was so far from loving him that she hated him worse than the megrims; wherefore, she very prudently replied, “sir, I am much obliged to you for your gracious assurance that you love me, but such love as may and ought to subsist between us should never have anything disreputable in it. You are my spiritual father, a priest also, and in years; all which considerations should inspire you with different sentiments: on the other hand, I am no girl, being, as you see, in my widowhood, and, therefore, more discretion will be expected from me; for which reason I must beg your pardon, being resolved neither to love you nor be loved by you, in the way you propose." The provost, no way daunted by one denial, ceased not his solicitations, as well by letters as by word of mouth, every time he saw her at church; till growing weary of his impertinence, she resolved to rid herself of him in such a manner as he deserved, since she saw there was no other way; but yet she would do nothing without first consulting her brothers. Letting them know, therefore, the provost's design upon her, and what she meant to do, and having free leave from them, she went in a few days to church as usual. 

When the provost saw her come in, he went familiarly to meet her, and she receiving him with an open countenance, walked purposely apart with him, and heaving a deep sigh, said, "I have often heard, sir, that there is no fort so strong but it may be taken, which I now find to be my own case, for you have so beset me with complaisance and love, that I have been forced to break my resolution, and am now dis- posed to be at your service." He replied, with a great deal of joy, "Madam, I hold myself much obliged to you, and, to tell you the truth, I have often wondered how you could hold out so long, especially as I have never met with anything like it before. Nay, I have said, that if women were made of silver, they would not be worth a farthing, because there is none of them would be able to stand the test. But tell me, when can we be together?" She replied, “sweet sir, it may be whenever you please, as I have no husband to inquire after me at nights; but I cannot think of a place." - "How so? why not in your own house?" - "sir," she made answer, "you know I have two brothers, who have company most evenings, and our house is very small, so that it is impossible for you to come there, unless you could submit to be like a dumb person, and in the dark also: if you will consent to that it may be done, because they never come into my chamber; but yet theirs is so near to mine that the least whisper is soon heard." - "Madam," quoth he, "never mind it for one or two nights,, till I can think of some more convenient place." - "Just as you please, sir , but I beg of you that it may be a secret." -"Madam, make no doubt of that: but, if possible, let it be this evening." - "With all my heart," said she; and directing him how and when he was to come, she left him, and went home. 

Now, the lady had a maid not over young, and the ugliest creature that ever was born; for she had a flat nose, a wry mouth, great thick lips, long black teeth, sore eyes, with a green and yellow complexion, like a mulatto; besides all this, she was both lame and crooked, and her name was Ciuta, but, having such a miserable countenance of her own, she was called, by way of derision, Ciutazza (i. e. Trull); but with all her ugliness she was not without a spice of roguish humour. This maid the widow called to her, and said, "Ciutazza, if thou wilt do a little job for me, I will give thee a new gown." - " Madam," quoth she, "give it me, and I will go through fire and water to serve you." - "I mean," said the lady, "to have thee sleep with a man this night in my bed; caress him, and make much of him, but be sure not to speak a word, for fear my brothers should hear thee in the next room; and in the morning thou shalt have the gown." 

- "To oblige you, Madam," said Ciutazza, "I would sleep with half a dozen." And so in the evening the provost came, according to agreement, whilst the lady's brothers were in their own room, as she had directed, where they took care that he should hear them; and the provost went silently into her chamber in the dark, as did also Ciutazza, and to bed they went. 

As soon as this was done, the lady told her brothers, and left them to do the rest, as they had before resolved. Accordingly they went secretly to the piazza, when fortune was more favourable to their design than they could have expected, for they met the bishop coming to their house to pay them a visit. They turned back with him, and as it was in the summer they showed him into a little court, lit up with flambeaux. There, as they sat together over some choice wine, one of the young gentlemen said, "My lord, since you have so kindly deigned, of your own accord, to visit our little dwelling, to which we were going to invite you, we beg you would please to see a curiosity which we have ready to show you." The bishop consented, and one of them, taking a light, led the way, followed by the bishop and all the rest, into the chamber where the provost and Ciutazza were in bed, when they found them asleep in each other's arms. The provost awoke upon this, ashamed and frightened to death, and hid his head under the bed-clothes, whilst the bishop reprimanded him severely, and made him put his head out, that he might see whom he had got in bed with him. Then indeed, finding how the lady had served him, and being sensible of the utter shame he had incurred, the provost was the most miserable man alive. Having put on his clothes again, by the bishop's order, he was sent under guard to his own house, to undergo a penance equal to his crime. The bishop then desired to know how the aflair had happened, and they related every particular, on which he highly commended both the lady and her brothers, who, rather than imbrue their hands in a clergyman's blood, had dealt with him according to his merits, in a different manner. He ordered him, therefore, a penance of forty days, but love and disdain made him mourn nine days more; and, for a long time after, he could never go along the street, but the boys would point at him, and say, "There goes the priest that lay with Ciutazza;" which was such a mortification, that he became almost distracted. Thus the good and prudent lady freed herself from the provost's importunities, and Ciutazza got a new gown and a night's diversion.