7-2, Peronella, tub

NOVEL II. 

Peronella puts her gallant into a tub on her husband's coming home, which tub the husband had sold; she consequently tells him that she had also sold it to a person who was then in it, to see if it was sound. Upon this the man jumps out, makes the husband clean it for him, and carries it home. 

Emilia's novel was heard with a great deal of mirth, and the charm esteemed a very good one. The king then ordered Filostrato to follow, which he did in the following manner: - My dear ladies, the tricks which are put upon you by us men, and especially by your husbands, are so many, that if ever it happens that a woman does the like, you should not only be pleased to hear of it, but you yourselves should spread it every where, to let the men understand, that if they are cunning, you are so too. This must have a good effect, for when it is known that people are forewarned, nobody will go about so soon to deceive them. Who sees not then that this day's discourse being noised among the men, may not be a restraint upon them in that respect, when they come to find that you know how to serve them in the same way? I will tell you, therefore, what a woman, though but of mean rank, did to her husband in a moment, as it were, for her own safety. 

It was not long since that a poor man at Naples married a young and handsome wife, named Peronella, and he being a mason, and she spinning every day, they managed to gain a tolerable livelihood. Now it happened that a young man in the neighbourhood took a liking to her, and making a discovery of his inclinations, it was at length agreed between them, that, as the husband went out every morning to his work, he should watch that opportunity to come to her, which accordingly he did more than once. But one morning amongst the rest, the honest man being gone abroad, and Giannello Strignario, for that was the gallant's name, visiting her as usual, in a little time the husband returned, though he was not used to come home till night, and finding the door bolted on the inside, he knocked, and then said to himself, "Thank Heaven, though I am poor, I have an honest and careful wife; for no sooner am I gone out than she makes all fast, that nobody should come in my absence to do us an injury." Peronella, who knew it was her husband by his manner of knocking, said, "Alas! Giannello, I am a dead woman; here's my husband come back - bad luck to him; I cannot imagine for what reason, unless it was that he saw you come in; but for God's sake, be it as it will, go you into that tub, whilst I open the door, and we shall see what this sudden retiim of his means." 

Accordingly Giannello stepped into the tub, whilst she let her husband into the house; and, putting on an angry look, she said, "Pray what new fancy is this, your coming home so early today? It seems you mean to do no more work, as you have now got your tools with you. And what are we to live upon in the meantime? Do you think I will suffer you to pawn my gown, and what few clothes I have? I do nothing but spin night and day, till I have worn my fingers to the very stumps, and all will scarcely find us oil to our lamp. Husband, husband, there is not a neighbour we have but wonders, and makes jest of me, for all the labour I undergo, and yet you return here, with your hands in your pockets, when you ought to be at work." Then she began to cry and sob. "Oh, what a poor unfortunate wretch I am! in an ill hour was I born, and worse it was when I happened to meet with you! I could have had a young man that would have maintained me well, and I refused him for this creature here, who knows not how to value a good wife. Other women have a good time with their gallants; some have two or three, and make their husbands believe the moon is made of green cheese; and because I am virtuous, and never think of such practices, for that reason I am used the worse. I see no cause why I should not have my gallants as well as they. I would have you to know, that I have had offers of money and other things from a great number of young gentlemen, but nothing of that kind could seduce me: no, I was never the daughter of such a mother, and yet you will come home when you ought to be at work." - "My dear," said the husband, "do not make yourself uneasy; I know well what a good woman you are, and have had farther proof of it this morning: I did go out to work, indeed; but neither of us then knew that it was the feast of St. Galeone, which is to be kept holy, and that is why I am come back: nevertheless, I have found means that we shall have bread for a month, for I have sold the tub, which you know has been long in our way, to this man whom I have brought with me, for five shillings." - “so much the worse," she answered; "you that go up and down, and should know things better, to sell a thing for five shillings, which I, a poor ignorant woman, that keep always within doors, considering the room it took up in our house, have now sold it to an honest man for six, and who had just got into it, as you came to the door, to see whether it was sound." 

When the husband heard this, he was much rejoiced, and said to the man he had brought, "Friend, you may go about your business; you hear it is sold for six, whereas you were to have given no more than five." - "With all my heart," said the honest man, and away he went. "But," quoth Peronella to her husband, "as you are now here, even make the agreement with the man yourself." 

Giannello, who was listening to what passed between them, on hearing these words, came out of the tub, and said, as if he knew nothing of the husband, "Where is the good woman?" The husband, stepping forward, replied, "Here I am: what do you want?" - "Who are you?" answered Giannello, "I want the woman who sold me the tub." - "You may make the bargain with me, for I am her husband." - "Then," said Giannello, "the tub appears to be sound; but it seems as if you had kept dregs in it, for it is so crusted all over in the inside, that I cannot scratch one bit off with my nail; therefore, I will not have it till it is made clean." - "This shall never break the bargain," said Peronella, "my husband will soon clean it out for you." The husband said, with all his heart; and laying down his iron tools, and stripping to his shirt, he got a scraper, and going into the tub with a candle, he fell to work. Whilst he was thus busied, Peronella put her head and one arm and shoulder into the mouth of the tub, which was not large, as if to see how he got on, and bade him scrape here and there, and there again, and take care that he did not leave a speck in it. While she was thus engaged, and completely stopping up the mouth of the tub, Giannello, who had not done all he came for before he was surprised by the husband's return, took the opportunity thus offered him, and the two jobs were finished at the same moment. Peronella drew her head out of the tub, the husband crept out, and handing the candle to Giannello, he said, "Here, honest man, take the candle, and see whether it is to your liking." He peeped into it, said it was all right, gave them thè six shillings, and had it carried to his own house. 

[This tale has been translated, by Boccaccio, from a story which may be found near the beginning of the ninth book of the "Golden Ass of Apuleius." It is the "Cuvier" of La Fontaine.]