9-2, abbess, haste, dark, nun, veil, priest, breeches

NOVEL II. 

An abbess going in haste, and in the dark, to surprise one of her nuns, instead of her veil puts on the priest's breeches. The lady accused makes a just remark upon this, and so escapes. 

Filomena was now silent, and the lady's contrivance to free herself from two such troublesome people, whom she could not love, was generally approved; their daring presumption being judged the effect not of love, but of folly. The queen called on Eliza to follow; and she immediately began: - The lady you have just mentioned saved herself very dexterously from trouble; but a certain nun escaped the most imminent danger, by a word or two aptly spoken, with good luck to aid. There are many foolish people, who take upon them to be rigid censors and correctors of others, and whom fortune takes occasion sometimes very justly to expose and humble, as was the case of the abbess, under whose government the nun was, of whom I am going to speak. 

In Lombardy was a convent, famous for its sanctity, and amongst the other nuns belonging to it, was a lady named Isabella, of exquisite beauty, as well as of noble family, who had fallen in love with a young gentleman, that came with a relation of hers to see her at the grate. He also had conceived the same affection for her, and this love continued some time without effect, to the great concern of both. At last he thought of a way to get to her, and continued visiting her in that manner, till he was discovered by one of the ladies. She communicated the affair to some others; and first they were resolved to accuse her to the abbess, a worthy good lady, in the opinion of the nuns and other people that knew her; but afterwards, for fear Isabella should deny it, it was agreed that the abbess should surprise them together; and so they kept watch by turns, in order to find them out. One night, therefore, Isabella having her lover in her chamber, without the least suspicion of their designs, the scouts immediately perceived it, and dividing themselves into parties, one guarded the entrance into her room, whilst the others ran to the lady abbess's chamber, where, knocking at the door, they cried, "Pray, madam, get up as quick as you can, for our sister Isabella has a man in her cell." 

Now that night it happened, that the abbess had a priest with her, who had been frequently brought to her in a chest; and fearing lest, out of their great hurry and eagerness, they might force open the door, she immediately rose, and dressed herself as well as she could in the dark; and thinking that she had taken a certain plaited veil, which she usually wore, she chanced to lay hold of the priest's breeches, and threw them over her head in its stead. She now went forth, and locking the door after her, said, "Where is this wicked woman?"

Away then she posted along with the nuns, who were so zealous and intent upon finding out poor Isabella, that they never took notice of what she had upon her head: and coming to her chamber, they found her and her lover together, who were so confounded that they could not speak a word. Isabella was forthwith seized, and carried to the chapter-house, the young gentleman being left in the cell, waiting to see what the end would be, and resolving to have revenge, if any harm was offered to his mistress, and afterwards to take her away. The abbess having taken her place in the chapter, with her nuns about her, who had all their eyes only on the culprit, she began to give her a most severe reprimand, for having defiled, as she told her, by her most disorderly and very wicked actions, the sanctity, honesty, and good name of the convent, adding thereto many most bitter threats. The lady, quite confounded between fear and shame, was unable to make any defence, but her very silence moved many of the sisterhood to compassion. The abbess still continuing her invectives, the poor nun happened to raise up her head, when she saw the breeches hanging on each side of the abbesses neck, and being a little comforted with that, as she conjectured the fact, she said, "Please, madam, to button your coif, and then tell me what you would have." - "My coif?" cried the abbess, "you wicked woman! Have you the assurance to laugh at me? Do you think what you have done is any laughing matter?" The lady said once more, "I beg, madam, that you will first button your coif, and then speak." The nuns now looked at their abbess, the abbess put her hands up to her head, and all of them perceived Isabella's meaning. The abbess, finding that she was clearly detected in the very same crime, soon changed her note, and began to excuse and palliate the matter. So she returned to her priest, and Isabella to her lover. And they continued their interviews together, in spite of all such as envied their happiness; whilst the rest procured themselves lovers as soon as they could. 

[This is the "Pseautier" of La Fontaine.]